Adoption #2

Three days ago we turned in an adoption application to Journey's to start a second adoption. It's only been three days, but I'm already going crazy. I've heard many times before that woman forget how painful child-birth can be and in a similar fashion I forgot how awful the waiting can be while one goes through the adoption process. It's excruciating and time seems to slow down. 

Statistically speaking, our future child's birthmom is probably pregnant already, yet I won't know anything about her for many more months. I wonder if she's thinking about us in the same way we're thinking about her. Having gone through an adoption already I now know what a central figure she will be to our lives and I wish I could be with her right now. 

On Monday I become overwhelmed with emotions and I recognized it for what it was - oxytocin. In the same way a pregnant mother imagines holding the baby she carries, which then builds feelings of attachment in her brain, adoptive mothers also imagine and plan. It didn't occur to me last time that my brain was already making attachment chemicals. This time I knew what it was. I could feel the chemistry change and I longed to hold my future son or daughter in my arms. 

Like I said, the waiting is the worst part. May the day we meet our second child be quickly upon us!