the process continues...

I'm feeling disappointed. Journeys just released their 2011 numbers, which were much worse than their 2010 numbers. In 2010, 80% of Oregon families had a placement within one month of being homestudy ready. In 2011, 43% of Northwest families had a placement within six months. So not only did the percentage go down, but the placement time was further out. I don't know what the difference is between Oregon families and Northwest families. For all I know we could have a better chance than other NW families because we actually live in the Metro area. I'm telling myself these hopeful things so that I feel a bit better, but I still feel really disappointed.

funny baby misunderstanding.

I start off this story with a little background: My friends at work used to frequently ask me questions about the fertility process and now the adoption process. They know how hard our journey towards parenthood has been and are excited that we'll hopefully have a baby soon. They have even started to talk about a babyshower. Keep this in mind as you read the rest of the story.

Yesterday, my friend Amada brought to work a Rosca, a oval shaped sweet bread, in celebration of Three Kings Day. The best part of the Rosca is that they bake little baby Jesuses into it. The people who find a baby Jesus get to help plan some sort of celebration that takes place in February (I'm not entirely sure on the details). Regardless of our lack of knowledge about this tradition, it was clear that we all wanted to get a baby Jesus. In our first round of cake cutting and eating, only one person got a baby Jesus (it was not me). However, later that afternoon, I got a second try and I did find a baby Jesus. A couple minutes later, my friend Molly walked up to me as she was about to leave and without thinking about how it sounded, I said, "I got a baby". The look on her face was priceless. Her eyes bugged out of her head and her jaw dropped. It took me a split section to figure out why she was so shocked. I grabbed her shoulders and explained that I wasn't talking about the adoption, but the Rosca. We both laughed.

It's moments like these that bring a lightheartedness to my journey through the adoption process. Thanks Molly for the laugh.

positive vs. negative language

Sometimes politically correct language is important, especially when a child's perception of the language used regarding their adoption can deeply impact their identity.

positive vs. negative:

* Birthparent vs. Real Parent
* Biological vs. Natural parent
* Birth child vs. Own child
* My child vs. Adoptive child
* Terminate/relinquished parental rights vs. Give up
* Make an adoption plan vs. Give away
* To parent vs. To keep
* Waiting child vs. adoptable child/available child
* Biological or birthfather vs. Real father
* Parent vs. Adoptive Parent
* Adoption triad vs. Adoption triangle
* Child placed for adoption vs. Unwanted child
* Was adopted vs. Is adopted

join us in our journey

The purpose of this blog is to share the journey of our adoption process with our family and friends. Even though Joel and I have personal experiences that have already helped us in the process, it's clear that there is so much we don't know about open adoption. Last night, as I was reviewing some of the material provided by our adoption agency, I noticed that most of their service plans (what the agency wants a family to do before adoption) include an "educate family and friends" section. I have mixed feelings about the name of that section for a couple reasons: On one hand, I do want my family and friends to understand our motivations, what's going to happen and the impact that open adoption will have on not only Joel and I, but also on them. On the other, it feels as though we are saying that they don't know anything; therefore, we have "educate" them, so they don't say or do something they shouldn't. Ultimately, I guess there's a balance to be had. Instead of having the attitude "let us teach you", we want to have the attitude "let's go on this journey together". We want all of you, our family and friends, to join us in the learning process as we become parents through adoption.

This is a private blog. You can access it by invitation only. Instead of using Facebook or other (very open) media, we have chosen an outlet that will allow us to screen our audience. By receiving an invitation, we are saying that we want you to be a part of our adoption journey. We are going to share the process, what we're learning, our struggles and (hopefully) information about our future son or daughter.

Thank you for joining us!